That was awkward but now I know your name

The statement above sums up how I meet people. On Thursdays, I hang out at a local coffee shop called Pablo's and there I begin to awkwardly insert myself into the community by saying compliments: Cool hair, nice boots, cute outfit, nice tats, you seemed so focused I admire that, your kid is beautiful or by asking questions: new glasses? haircut? Whatcha readin? Can I help with that crossword? what's your name? are you in a band? or simple statements: wow what a beautiful day, hi, hey, sooo... 

 I have to say one awkward statement to get an in. After my comment, I get a weird look but then I get an answer or a smile and I'm in, I'm free to ask what they do, how they are, where they are from and sometimes I get to give them my card. 

People ask me how I meet people I mentor or potential donors and I say one awkward comment at a time :) 

Other awkward things that happen at my job

Blind-networking- Are you John? Are you John? 

Now that I know people's names, some people find it creepy. One conversation with a Starbucks barista: Hi Carolyn. Do you work here...? No, We meet last week. Oh... (and looks away)

Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine...Ephesians 3:20

This season of understanding God as a provider has been eye opening. I have realized that this is the first time I have had to fully rely on God. I really have to put aside my pride, my desire to be "independent", my fear of asking for money, and my idea of what having faith means.

I have been humbled. I have realized once again that I love control and literally God has brought me to a place of total dependence on Him. Two weeks ago I was really struggling with support raising, the fear of asking for help took over. I was running around town, filling my schedule with meaningless things to only realize I needed to only turn to Him. It was really that simple. As soon as I did that, people started returning my calls, sending in checks, and God puts names in my head to contact. All I had to do was abide Him. Surrender my fear. Admit that I am weak. I could only boast in Him because the only thing I did differently was pray specifically for the funds to come in.

I was reading "Funding My Ministry" by Scott Mortan and his word struck me. I am asking people to give vertically not horizontally. I was believing they were giving to me and not the kingdom...and that is why fear was running so rampant. This is not about me. It is about God. It always has been and it I need to deny myself daily. Give my budget over to him every morning.

God is aware of my needs, he is not oblivious and God is a God of unlimited resources.

Prayer
Lord...I ask you for my $30,000 budget. I ask that you grant me it, that you teach me patience and faith when in it. Help me to know you as  God the provider. Give me strength to live out this calling and provide people Lord that will make this possible. I boast only in you Lord.

Prespective

Obedience to the "Heavenly Vision"

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Mar

11

2012

I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision —Acts 26:19

If we lose “the heavenly vision” God has given us, we alone are responsible— not God. We lose the vision because of our own lack of spiritual growth. If we do not apply our beliefs about God to the issues of everyday life, the vision God has given us will never be fulfilled. The only way to be obedient to “the heavenly vision” is to give our utmost for His highest— our best for His glory. This can be accomplished only when we make a determination to continually remember God’s vision. But the acid test is obedience to the vision in the details of our everyday life— sixty seconds out of every minute, and sixty minutes out of every hour, not just during times of personal prayer or public meetings.

“Though it tarries, wait for it . . .” (Habakkuk 2:3). We cannot bring the vision to fulfillment through our own efforts, but must live under its inspiration until it fulfills itself. We try to be so practical that we forget the vision. At the very beginning we saw the vision but did not wait for it. We rushed off to do our practical work, and once the vision was fulfilled we could no longer even see it. Waiting for a vision that “tarries” is the true test of our faithfulness to God. It is at the risk of our own soul’s welfare that we get caught up in practical busy-work, only to miss the fulfillment of the vision.

Watch for the storms of God. The only way God plants His saints is through the whirlwind of His storms. Will you be proven to be an empty pod with no seed inside? That will depend on whether or not you are actually living in the light of the vision you have seen. Let God send you out through His storm, and don’t go until He does. If you select your own spot to be planted, you will prove yourself to be an unproductive, empty pod. However, if you allow God to plant you, you will “bear much fruit” (John 15:8).

It is essential that we live and “walk in the light” of God’s vision for us (1 John 1:7).

Amen. My job is to only abide in Him. 

Looking up

“Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” – God (Jeremiah 29:7)


The power of prayer is underestimated... This has been the story of my life, I get so caught up in doing, that I forget about how to just be. Prayer is reminder that we have nothing to boast about. It is God doing, it always has, our job is to just be...
Prayer is counter cultural. It feels weird. It feels like we are not doing anything, and sometimes we lean on our own understanding of what we think should be done instead of waiting for God to show up. We meddle in things they we should not because "doing" is way more comfortable than waiting. 


For now, as I step into this unknown task, I will surrender it to God through prayer. God knows that things need  to be aligned for this work. When I lean on what I can see, the circumstances, in front of me I instantly get overwhelmed, afraid, discouraged. Prayer has a way of refocusing. It requires  you to look upward, and takes the obstacles in your way out of view.  One of Satan's biggest scheme is distracting you from looking up, because once we do we see how glorious God is! 


Denver is a big city, but this verse above reminds me that I need to be committed to praying for it. For God's glory to shine, for the aroma Christ to fill the streets, and for an unexplainable peace to be found. I must understand that is more valuable than me ever stepping foot into the city limits. 

Remembering the reason...

Is He Really My Lord?

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Mar

05

2012

. . . so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus . . . —Acts 20:24

Joy comes from seeing the complete fulfillment of the specific purpose for which I was created and born again, not from successfully doing something of my own choosing. The joy our Lord experienced came from doing what the Father sent Him to do. And He says to us, “As the Father has sent Me, I also send you” (John 20:21). Have you received a ministry from the Lord? If so, you must be faithful to it— to consider your life valuable only for the purpose of fulfilling that ministry. Knowing that you have done what Jesus sent you to do, think how satisfying it will be to hear Him say to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21). We each have to find a niche in life, and spiritually we find it when we receive a ministry from the Lord. To do this we must have close fellowship with Jesus and must know Him as more than our personal Savior. And we must be willing to experience the full impact of Acts 9:16 — “I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.”

“Do you love Me?” Then, “Feed My sheep” (John 21:17). He is not offering us a choice of how we can serve Him; He is asking for absolute loyalty to His commission, a faithfulness to what we discern when we are in the closest possible fellowship with God. If you have received a ministry from the Lord Jesus, you will know that the need is not the same as the call— the need is the opportunity to exercise the call. The call is to be faithful to the ministry you received when you were in true fellowship with Him. This does not imply that there is a whole series of differing ministries marked out for you. It does mean that you must be sensitive to what God has called you to do, and this may sometimes require ignoring demands for service in other areas.

Today, I read this from my Utmost Highest devotional and it was good reminder of why I am doing this. That I need to stop looking at my present circumstances and look up. By looking Up, I will find joy, its that simple... God is good and worth this risk.