Grace!

I apologize for the delays...life is just going by so quickly.

In my most recent newsletter I talked about Grace and I wanted to expand on what I talked about

Grace is hard to understand and embrace, even in my own life. One thing that has challengeded me this month is needing to learn how to be like Jesus among my new co-workers, operating out of grace instead of my own strength. I find myself tempted to fall into gossip, complaining, and thinking that its me (and not Jesus) that's impacting my work environment. As I invest in those around me, it is easy to see how they define success; to them, one needs to do something... it's working hard towards a goal. Then I look at all the Christians the Lord has brought into my life to pour into, success has looked pretty similar. God has been refining my understanding of true success; living in His abundant grace. I know how to follow his commandments well, but receiving his free gift of grace is much harder especially because according to the ways of the world nothing in this life is ever free. This idea of striving and working for things so easily creeps into our thoughts for our salvation, the very salvation that we have already obtained because of Christ's death. This salvation cannot be worked towards, it cannot be earned, and ABSOLUTELY nothing we do can repay the debt Christ paid. All other religions except for Christianity are work-based. They do not have a Savior that is willing to die for them to restore what went wrong. I see how easily I forget that I need Jesus. Because of what Jesus does for us, we do not need to operate like other religions, striving for his favor. We cannot dismiss that He's paid it all and God is pleased by our faith, not by works...if we only think of what we must do, we're out of balance. Without stopping to receive the grace of Jesus, we are not living to our full capacities, we are not living in freedom, we are loving and serving those around us out selfishness, and worst of all we are denying what Christ died for on the cross. I truly believe when Jesus said, “my yoke is easy and burden is light” he really meant it.We make it difficult when we try to do it out of our strength. True ministry comes out of abiding in Christ and just being, not from some misguided sense of obligation to Him.

So I'm trying not to be like the world by remembering that I need Christ and the freedom of His grace and love. This ministry's success hinges on my willingness to surrender control and rely solely on Him; I merely participate with what God is already doing (John 5:19). He is our provider and all of our goodness comes from Him.

 

As a believer in Christ, Sucess depends on our ability to give up our will and look to God's will. When people look at this they should notice that our lives look different. Our priorities are different and because of this we offer a different kind of hope. A hope that rests in knowing that striving gets you no where...just tired, lost, and trapped. A hope that one can rest, that one can truly be valued by who they are and not what they can do. This is what I hope people see in my life.

 

 

Oswald Chamber sums it up pretty well...

being justified freely by His grace . . . —Romans 3:24

The gospel of the grace of God awakens an intense longing in human souls and an equally intense resentment, because the truth that it reveals is not palatable or easy to swallow. There is a certain pride in people that causes them to give and give, but to come and accept a gift is another thing. I will give my life to martyrdom; I will dedicate my life to service— I will do anything. But do not humiliate me to the level of the most hell-deserving sinner and tell me that all I have to do is accept the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.
We have to realize that we canNOT earn or win anything from God through our own efforts. We must either receive it as a gift or do without it. The greatest spiritual blessing we receive is when we come to the knowledge that we are destitute. Until we get there, our Lord is powerless. He can do nothing for us as long as we think we are sufficient in and of ourselves. We must enter into His kingdom through the door of destitution. As long as we are “rich,” particularly in the area of pride or independence, God can do nothing for us. It is only when we get hungry spiritually that we receive the Holy Spirit. The gift of the essential nature of God is placed and made effective in us by the Holy Spirit. He imparts to us the quickening life of Jesus, making us truly alive. He takes that which was “beyond” us and places it “within” us. And immediately, once “the beyond” has come “within,” it rises up to “the above,” and we are lifted into the kingdom where Jesus lives and reigns (see John 3:5).

We must not forget that we need Jesus. Thats all. It can be that simple.

Increase my character before increasing my authority

As I continue to work with the women the Lord has placed into my life I am realizing more and more the authority that I have in their lives. They really want to know my opinion on life choices, on dating, how to deal with their parents, and how to handle a difficult (slightly crazy) friend. There is this temptation (not always) for me to answer them out my own judgments, my selfish motivation, and my pride. I love when people need my advice, but the reality is I need to make sure they are learning to trust their own judgments over mine because I will not always be in their lives. Also, I need to make clear that as hard as it may seem...I AM NOT ALWAYS RIGHT! I am thankful for this awareness God has given me to make sure I am in check with His will. It has made me recognize how easy it would be to take advantage of those around me and why people in authority can quickly get off track when their pride takes over. As I sit today praying for the women I am working with and for other relationships the Lord has given me a powerful voice in, I find myself praying that the Lord increases my character before he increases my authority anymore. For me to really do this ministry well it is more important that God increases my integrity, selflessness, and humility because I know the extent of my own brokenness and sinfulness. It is so vital for me to spend time daily in his word and praying so that I do not forget He is the source of the wisdom.

No Pamphlet needed

Jeremiah 29:4-7 says "This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says to all the captives he has exiled to Babylon from Jerusalem: 'Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”'

Verse 7 should be noted, "Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare."


What does it look like to "live in but not of" the world? How do we live out the Gospel in such a complex culture? How do we develop a heart for the area we are living in?


I feel like the answer is living intentionally with those around you and investing yourself into your city. Evangelism is a misunderstood term. The campus ministry I attended in college required us to use a pamphlet to engage other students in why Christianity is the only way. I remember being so anxious and it felt so forced. I never loved doing that, but I know it does work. But this is so unnatural for a lot of people and it airs on the side of legalism when it becomes something we have to do. 


What if evangelism was living with intentionality? What if you embraced the starbuck's barista, the Wells Fargo teller, or the Sunflower cashier? What if you actually took a look into the lives of those who serve you? What if outreach was not an event that was planned by a church, but was actually a part of your life? 


I definitely not perfect at this but I have been investing in a bank teller for the last few months. She is 23 and has a 5 year old son, I can't even imagine what I would do if I had a kid right now and being a single mom. It has been awesome to get know her more and more as the time goes by. What is very obvious is that she feels alone and needs to be heard. I am not sure where this relationship will go, but I know I called to only use that bank. 


There is so much brokenness around you... there is a cry for community, love and belonging. There is a need for someone to just smile, call out their name, or just someone who is really genuine 


Currently, I am reading the book "Coffee Shop Conversations" (and yes I can only read it in a coffee shop and has created some discussion from those around me). The book talks about approaching every conversion with humility. That in fact you can learn from other people even if you have different worldviews (Shocker I know) "We must step into their unique shoes and view their spiritual world from their perspective"(P. 40). It city's culture must be learned before a connection is made.  

We have duty to prayer for our cities and to live peacefully in it. The Lord says where our treasure is so is our heart, regardless of whether or not you are content with where you are living we are called to intercede for the city we are in. 


Therefore, do not let busyness, fear, insecurities, pride, and judgement step in your way of seeing those around you. I pray that my eyes are open to where God is working in my city, I pray that I do not miss an opportunity to share His good news. Find out what your city needs and make it happen! I believe Community can be built anywhere if one is willing to invest in those around them and willing to be open-minded. 

Dealing with disappointment

I do not claim to be a theology expert (you are welcome for admitting that Michael), but I do feel like there are several areas that I am seeing patterns. Therefore through my own experiences I am able to develop a theology-like view on how God works in the midst of disappointment. 


Throughout my life (I am not alone in this), I have some sweet opportunities fizzle completely out and I wonder what the whole point of that was. The worst is when something comes about like someone out of the blue calling you about a job opportunity (this happened to a friend recently), you apply and they give it to someone else. Like really, what is the point. You are minding your own business and someone approaches you, it seems like this is your miracle, then nothing... It has made me think about what is the point of this. It make it hard to get excited about things that just fizzle out. It has also made me think about how to handle the frustration appropriately while being thankful and obedience. 


Here are some thoughts that I have and you can weigh in on any of them. In fact I love other people's opinions and I am not always right. 


Firstly, I look to quickly for the miracle, the sign, and don't ask God whether or not it is. If someone calls me up with a job opportunity, I automatically think this is how God is working without ever asking whether or not if God is working the way I think he is (that was mouth full). I need to consider God instead of jumping to conclusion, just like I am apply to dismiss God's power in other areas of my life because it does fit in the mold I have made God. Before jumping to conclusion, I need pray to God and ask Him is this your piece? Recently someone told me that God is teaching me how to be selective and it is crucial to understand discernment. Since stepping into this ministry, I have already had to say no to different things pulling me off track and it so crucial to stick what God has promised even if someone offers you a seemingly better off (And yes that has happened several times). Remember when something occurs that could be your miracle, ask God first because it will save you disappointment later. 

Secondly, 1 Thess 3:3 says "so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. You know quite well that we were destined for them." One promise that I have seen clearly fulfilled, is the promise that life is not easy. Recently, I have been reading story of David. God promised him to be king but it was not an easy road at all. Saul tried to murder him so many times! When Saul died, he still had to wait over 7 years to get the whole kingdom as Saul's heirs fought over it. What we do know is that David was not afraid to look foolish. David was dancing half naked praising God and he was criticized, 2 Samuel 6:22 says "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. David also chose a sling shot to kill Goliath opposed to a sword, but He won. David's faith was tested to the nth degree. Of course it would have been nice to have an easy transition into kingship, but that would not have taken much faith. He would not have been a man after God's heart because he would not be completely sold out for him. He believed that he was supposed to be King so well that even when he was almost killed he did not give up. It is also nice to read the Psalms because it explains what 1st and 2nd Samuel are unable to do, it explains his emotions in the process. David was real and he appropriately handled his frustration and turned them over to God and it made him more PASSIONATE!!!! (minus the whole sexual frustration thing with Bathsheba but hey Solomon was born and he was important!) I recommended reading story of David and how God developed his character through trial. Without the the struggle he endured, David would of been just a mediocre King. God prepared David to be at his best. 

Thirdly, be okay with the unknown. Something that I find annoying about the Bible is that you get to see the whole process (Which is one of the most helpful things of the Bible), but what do you do when you only see a bit of it. You get to see that God provided when things looked grim, but in real life its hard to see what He is doing when you are in the midst of it. When all things look hopeless, when you feel alone, when you feel foolish, and when you are exhausted how do you hold on????? This is where faith matters. This is where you hold onto the promises and you are okay with not getting total affirmation. In order to become completely sold out for God, you need to be okay with not having "wordly safety nets" You will not learn much when things are freely given to you. Its liek a child who is provided for until there 18, how do the grow up and mature if there parents are still providing. How do they learn to trust themselves when they never have had a chance? How do we learn to completely trust God when everything is given to us by our own merit? In order to mature as a Christian, you need to be okay with mystery. You need to be okay with to holding onto God's promises when nothing outside of God that is affirming it to be true. At the cross, all Jesus had was God...
Part of being a Christian is accepting the mystery of Christ, I am (we are) too quick to label what God is doing, just accept that you have no idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in 2 Corinthians 1, Paul asks for strength to know the mystery of God, this guy new His mystery quite well! 


Lastly, just laugh when crazy things occur. It does not always have to be disappointing, it can be quite humorous.

Call back to prayer

After writing that last post and I reminded of my number one duty...Prayer. Therefore, I will be committing a significant portion of my week to prayer.

The Lord reminded me of the chapter he gave me for this year

Isaiah 61

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
    he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
    and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
     and the day of vengeance of our God;
    to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
     to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
    the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
    the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.
They shall build up the ancient ruins;
    they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
    the devastations of many generations.

Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks;
    foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers;
but you shall be called the priests of the Lord;
    they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God;
you shall eat the wealth of the nations,
    and in their glory you shall boast.
Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion;
    instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot;
therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion;
    they shall have everlasting joy.

For I the Lord love justice;
    I hate robbery and wrong;
I will faithfully give them their recompense,
     and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their offspring shall be known among the nations,
    and their descendants in the midst of the peoples;
all who see them shall acknowledge them,
    that they are an offspring the Lord has blessed.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
    my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
    he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,
     and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
    and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,
so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise
    to sprout up before all the nations.

so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them.

This past week was not my favorite at all. An apartment that I was hoping for fell through and my desire to live alone before I get married seems to becoming a fantasy. A church that loved my idea of a coffee shop decided to start one without me because they do not want to wait... I am thankful for putting up a boundary and choosing to not spend my first year of marriage starting a coffee shop that we are very ill-prepared for. Lastly, my fundraising is not going well and I seem to have lost my motivation to continue fundraising. I am out of people and people who seemed to commit are having trouble calling me back. So now I wrestle with getting a part time job and hoping I can use community building skills in a coffee shop environment (I have in fact always wanted to work at coffee shop and if I want to open one one day I need to start somewhere. 


To be honest, I spent most of the week being angry and not wanted to pursue God. Isolated and distracted myself. The reality is that in the past few months a lot of hurtful things have happened and the unfortunate thing is that most of the hurtful things have come from other Christians. I am praying for the strength to forgive some things and realizing I have hard time letting go. 


Now anger towards God is not necessary a bad thing because of sin this world is full of brokenness and broken promises. How do I deal with these things? How do I remain thankful in the midst of disappointment? How do I let go of what I want. 


At the height of my annoyance and anger the Lord gave me these verses 1 thes. 3:2-4 ² We sent Timothy, who is our brother and co-worker in God’s service in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, ³ so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them. ⁴ In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know. 

The question is how to remain faithful with nothing in your life make sense. The Lord has stripped me away for 75% of the things that made me secure (community left, PTL!) I am learning what it like to completely be at the mercy of God. This week revealed to me that when a lot of things do not go my why, I lose faith in the whole process. I completely forgot how the Lord has provided for me throughout my whole life. My life is not over if I have to live another 6 months with a roommate and I am thankful St. Petersburg is advancing God's kingdom by opening a coffee shop. I am thankful that my voice sparked an interest and bless that. No matter what happens I want to hold true to my beliefs that God is close to the brokenhearted and that I am for God's kingdom and however that looks, I am for it.


OOOOOPS. 


The only guarantee in this life is Christ and because I am in ministry I think I deserve an easyness. The reality is that since of I have started this ministry I have been faced with a lot of shizzzzz and most of the chaos deal with my own sin. Christianity is based the belief that God has your best interest and he understands the sorrow way better than I do (Um...the cross). 


Oswald Chambers is not always spot on but today's post sums up my current state.

11

2012

Come to Me . . . —Matthew 11:28

Where sin and sorrow stops, and the song of the saint starts. Do I really want to get there? I can right now. The questions that truly matter in life are remarkably few, and they are all answered by these words— “Come to Me.” Our Lord’s words are not, “Do this, or don’t do that,” but— “Come to me.” If I will simply come to Jesus, my real life will be brought into harmony with my real desires. I will actually cease from sin, and will find the song of the Lord beginning in my life.

Have you ever come to Jesus? Look at the stubbornness of your heart. You would rather do anything than this one simple childlike thing— “Come to Me.” (YUP THIS WAS EXACTLY TRUE) If you really want to experience ceasing from sin, you must come to Jesus.

Jesus Christ makes Himself the test to determine your genuineness. Look how He used the word come. At the most unexpected moments in your life there is this whisper of the Lord— “Come to Me,” and you are immediately drawn to Him (Saturday night, he whispered!) Personal contact with Jesus changes everything. Be “foolish” enough to come and commit yourself to what He says. The attitude necessary for you to come to Him is one where your will has made the determination to let go of everything and deliberately commit it all to Him.

“. . . and I will give you rest”— that is, “I will sustain you, causing you to stand firm.” He is not saying, “I will put you to bed, hold your hand, and sing you to sleep.” But, in essence, He is saying, “I will get you out of bed— out of your listlessness and exhaustion, and out of your condition of being half dead while you are still alive. I will penetrate you with the spirit of life, and you will be sustained by the perfection of vital activity.” Yet we become so weak and pitiful and talk about “suffering” the will of the Lord! Where is the majestic vitality and the power of the Son of God in that?

JunWhere sin and sorrow stops, and the song of the saint starts. Do I really want to get there? I can right now. The questions that truly matter in life are remarkably few, and they are all answered by these words— “Come to Me.” Our Lord’s words are not, “Do this, or don’t do that,” but— “Come to me.” If I will simply come to Jesus, my real life will be brought into harmony with my real desires. I will actually cease from sin, and will find the song of the Lord beginning in my life.

To have a better understanding of what this ministry is about and why I am passionate about it, Click on this link http://ge.tt/4KH7iUI/v/0